I fancied myself to be a writer once.
"... and by what I have left undone..."
As of late my contemplations have been heavily focused on sin and particularly my sin. The most weighty are the sins of inaction on my part. Not that I hve been lazy but more like busy doing nothing. Nothing has been a buzz word of my generation. "Nothing much" was the reply to what was up. "Nothing special" to what you were doing. "Nada (meaning nothing)" was the reply to whats new. Unfortunately nothing much is what I have to show for the tremendous amount of blessings I have recieved. To whom much is given much is expected and I am not meeting expectations. To say that I have let people down and been a burden is an understatement. I can see how my sin is like a drop of food coloring in a clear glass of water slowly seeping and coloring the whole glass. Everyone has free will this is true but sin begets sin, and I have been spreading it to others because of what I have left undone. And this is what is most grieveous to me.
Imbedded in the command to" be still and know that I am" is a call to action. Knowing is a verb. Rest and regeneration are essention parts of growth. In their purpose, however lies the seed of action. I am very fond ofrest and relaxation though not opposed hard work either. But the inaction that affects me most is not restfull at all and verges on paralysis. Inaction born of fear. Fear of what? SHAME! Yes I know it is out of fashion but I am ashamed of many uf my undeeds as well as misdeeds. I hope this shame will spur me on to action but more often I feel like I am in quicksand and if I try to do something it only makes me sink faster. So I prefer to sit still and sink slowly and hope that some divine rope is thrown my way. I think a more apt description is that of a mountain climber that has sat down for a rest and removed his back pack for a moment and then upon sholdering it again it feels even weightier and now he can not get back up. So my prayer is to have faith in the promise that His grace is sufficient for me (2cor12:9)
As of late my contemplations have been heavily focused on sin and particularly my sin. The most weighty are the sins of inaction on my part. Not that I hve been lazy but more like busy doing nothing. Nothing has been a buzz word of my generation. "Nothing much" was the reply to what was up. "Nothing special" to what you were doing. "Nada (meaning nothing)" was the reply to whats new. Unfortunately nothing much is what I have to show for the tremendous amount of blessings I have recieved. To whom much is given much is expected and I am not meeting expectations. To say that I have let people down and been a burden is an understatement. I can see how my sin is like a drop of food coloring in a clear glass of water slowly seeping and coloring the whole glass. Everyone has free will this is true but sin begets sin, and I have been spreading it to others because of what I have left undone. And this is what is most grieveous to me.
Imbedded in the command to" be still and know that I am" is a call to action. Knowing is a verb. Rest and regeneration are essention parts of growth. In their purpose, however lies the seed of action. I am very fond ofrest and relaxation though not opposed hard work either. But the inaction that affects me most is not restfull at all and verges on paralysis. Inaction born of fear. Fear of what? SHAME! Yes I know it is out of fashion but I am ashamed of many uf my undeeds as well as misdeeds. I hope this shame will spur me on to action but more often I feel like I am in quicksand and if I try to do something it only makes me sink faster. So I prefer to sit still and sink slowly and hope that some divine rope is thrown my way. I think a more apt description is that of a mountain climber that has sat down for a rest and removed his back pack for a moment and then upon sholdering it again it feels even weightier and now he can not get back up. So my prayer is to have faith in the promise that His grace is sufficient for me (2cor12:9)
posted by Mr. MDH | 11/17/2004 03:01:00 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home