Immutable Standard

I am mutable

2008-05-22T18:05:00.002-07:00

It has been a ridiculously long time since I posted.

I have decided that some of the "big issues" are not really the things we need to be focused on.

Love is patient and kind; love is not jealous or boastful;
it is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;
it does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right.
Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Love never ends

God so loved the world

I have denied the faith

2006-08-08T12:51:00.000-07:00

But if anyone does not provide for his relatives and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than the unbeliever. 1 tim 5:8

I believe that the Lord provides. I have seen and recieved miraculous examples of his provision in my life. Right now I am not providing and it makes for a difficult life.

The rich rules over the poor,and the borrower is the slave of the lender. prov 22:7

This is why I can not provide. I no longer work for my household, but for lenders.
The good lord willing this period will only last a few more years but the struggle is great and the stress mounts.

The reality of this verse is very clear, in that when under the rulership of lenders it is easy to loose focus on the true Provider.

Lord I affirm my faith in You as you clothe the flowers and feed the birds how much more so do you love me so I will seek you first and be content.

Grace and Peace, Mister MDH

X rockstar

2006-06-09T20:00:00.000-07:00

I have been roaming about the my space universe seeing all the connections to my X rockstardom. Kinda makes me feel a little nostalgic but as I was tellin the martian this evening when we played a packed edgefest in 94 problably one of the musical highlights it still doesn't compare to hearin the boy say papa's home.

I enjoyed rockin and nothing compares to it but their are things better.

but i see that for some of the folks that I hung out with perseverance has paid off for them in some ways.

But I am happy to be an X rockstar.

Confession part 1

2006-02-16T20:24:00.000-07:00

I feel like Lot sitting at the City's Gate
Yet knowing his fate I still sit and wait

Were that I was Abraham under the Oaks

Lured by the City's lites and sounds and sights
I no longer enjoy heavenly starry nights

Were that I was Jacob wrestling til the morn

Turn in your keys

2005-10-31T19:14:00.000-07:00

Another failure in my life has been finalized. I turned in the keys to the taekwondo school where I was teaching hopeing to take over when the Grand Master retired. My debt burden was to high for me to take the pay cut required to work there and now I am back in the kitchen and hardly at home. I had realy hoped i would be able to do the taekwondo thing. It would have been nice to work towards building something of my own now I slave away so some distant ceo can afford jet feul and and the credit card racket. The only was to advance in the kitchen is to live in the kitchen. So I and my sweet family pay the price of my sin in assuming on the future. Though this job was an answer to prayers it might not be the end of the line.

Grace and Peace, Mark

Time

2005-10-23T09:40:00.000-07:00

My time is mostly spent working. I am a chef and it is pretty much the standard through out the insustry that chefs will work stupid long hours. When I am home I am just to beat to be worth anything. This morning my wife got up and cleaned the kitchen a got lunch going in a crockpot got the kids ready and headed off to church while I stayed in bed. I have no broken limbs or serious illness, I am just beat. I need a vision or I will perish.

Things that make me doubt my salvation #2

2005-09-19T18:52:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I am a potty mouth.

Things that make me doubt my salvation # 1

2005-08-03T20:00:00.000-07:00

Whenever TOOL comes on the radio I turn it up real loud.

Grace and Peace, Mark

Busted by the Garbage man

2005-07-30T09:31:00.000-07:00

I overslept on Tuesday(trash day) actualy I over lingered in bed and while I was taking care of morning biological functions my wife heard the trash truck coming up the street and rushed outside in her nightgown to get the trash out and the garbage man says "he where is your husband he should be doing that"

He was right.

I have been neglectful in other obligations as well but I am making some progress.

When I ask my boy who made everything he answers "God made everything for his glory."

He will be a better man than I because I was a lot older than 3 when I learned that God made everything for his glory.

Grace and Peace, Mark

Hard work

2005-07-02T20:37:00.000-07:00

Today I worked hard and it was a day off from work. I trimmed hedges and moved some rock and washed my car. But more importantly my wife worked harder last night making a Thomas the tank engine cake for my boys birthday. Now it is a woman thing I think to ask if a toddler will know the difference between lemon yellow or golden yellow or some other yellow. I can not remember the precise names that my used. There were other preparations other that the cake so it was a bright and early day to get ready for the big party. It was a success the cake was dug into proper fashion with dirty fingers. My daughter is a tremendous help but does not quite understand hard work. She is getting it and I have to be patient as I try to teach her. In our suburban lifestyle there are not many opportunities for meaningful work for children and as adults we think in the name of efficiency it would be better if we did most thing ourselves. My grandfather worked hard his whole life. I feel that was a part of his living to be as old as he did. The last time I saw him he was in need of dialysis but stubornly refusing. The little garden plot that he had in his yard had not ben tilled in about 4 years so I offered to till it for him. I always wanted to help till the garden but I was always to young and after being away from Ohio for over 13 years I got the chance. Needless to say I was not doing it correctly and he begins to show me at which point my grand mother comes out and berates him. Eventually he relents and lets me finish tilling the garden. I love the smell of fertile earth and the sweat of hard work. I am thinking of becoming an agrarian. I do not know where this train of thought will take me. I have had many" I am thinking of becoming" moments that have gone nowhere or that have turned out disastorous.

Grace and Peace, Mark

spirit matters

2005-05-29T15:36:00.000-07:00

My good friend Van Eric Martin has put together a compelling short film called "spirit matters". It is a collection of video clips with people from a homeless shelter answering the question: how has God impacted your life?

The people in these clips are very down and out. Full on homeless people living on the street. The answers are shameing to people of better circumstances. Many of them said that the Lord answers prayers and looks over them and all thanked and praised the Lord saying he is worthy. One said he thanked God for waking him up and I think I would curse God for waking me up in those conditions. It reminded me of the time in Mexico I saw a man crouching in the shade of a leafless shrub. Greatful for what little they got.

I am blessed.
I am greatly blessed.
Praise the Lord.
I am not worthy but he is merciful.
Praise the Lord.
Praise the Lord.
He has given me a new job.
Praise the Lord.
Praise the Lord for EVERYTHING.
God is good.

Grace and Peace, Mark

Holy Matrimony batman

2005-05-23T14:34:00.000-07:00

Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself up for it. Eph 5:25

THere have been times when this is easy and there have been times when it is the last thing I want to do. I used to do much more to help my wife, and that is the best way to love our wives. I am trying to get back to that way of life. Lately I hve been letting the world beat me down so much that I do not even want to do anything for myself. If we are to love our wives as Christ loved the church what would that look like. Give ourselves up for them. I think it would be about service to them. I used to make lunches get dishes done and help with the laundry and listen and acknowledge things more. Though sometimes I feel like the world is trying to crucify me I must remember what Jesus said in the Garden from Luke Not my will, but thine be done and his will is for me to love my wife like He loved me. I pray that I can learn how to do just that.

Grace and Peace, Mark

goooood fooood

2005-05-16T14:45:00.000-07:00

1 chicken quarted
1 cup artichoke hearts
1/2 # suasage
some garlic and 1 cup sherry

dice suasage chop garlic flour chicken saute add garlic and suasage until brown and then add sherry put in slow oven about an hour make stock with your chicken scraps reduce and add to chicken with the artichoke hearts.

EAT

Grace and Peace, Mark

Lacking

2005-05-14T09:37:00.000-07:00

I lack slack and hold myself back
Like a zombie stumbling and bumbling
At least I am not mumbling

Without vision I coast through life
Nothing to reach for for I do not see
No future for me

Like refuse on the riverbank
sometimes flowing sometimes stuck
covered in the muck

the plasmist says to lift our eyes
In my rebellion I keep them downcast
dwelling on the past

His word is like the surgeons knife
My selfpity and conciete are a cancer
Christ is the answer.

I seek with my eyes closed
Not wanting to see the real me
Being unworthy

The changing of my heart will start
Because of His astounding and unbounding grace
Our father sees his sons face

He looks down on me and numbers the hairs on my head
because in shame I hang my head
for what he did i my stead

Grace and Peace, Mark

visionary leaders

2005-05-09T14:31:00.000-07:00

I think it would be great if the goal of education was to create visionary leaders. That is going to be be them of my education concept that I am continuing to develope. there will be a core curriculum guideline.

1. lead for the Lord
2. lead for your family
3. lead the world

defend the faith, teach your family and be salt and light.

With out a vision the people will perish.

I think the classical education model is what I am going to try to follow mostly as I develope my curriculum.

more thoughts to come.

Grace and Peace, Mark

Him only

2005-05-07T07:14:00.000-07:00

And Jesus answered and said unto him, It is written, thou shalt worship the Lord thy God, and Him only shalt thou serve. Luke 4:8

How often when we are tempted to serve satan do we reply with the first commandment. I think in most cases it is rare. Our culture has turned us into self servers and world worshipers. The advertisers have shown us the kingdoms of the earth and said they can be ours and I know that often I have bowed down to something other than my Lord and God. Of my mission statement verses maybe this one might be one of the hardest. It's the ONLY part that I have trouble with. Sometimes I might worship a Porsche 911 or an old BMW 635. It could be a Home in the paper, or even my sweet children and wife. I do not know how to embody this verse in a way that is truly evident. I want do so in a way that will pass on to my children and the people around me. Yes this needs work in my life.

Grace and Peace, Mark

Concern for each other

2005-04-30T07:28:00.000-07:00

I Corinthians 12:25
So that there would be no division in the body , but that the members would have the same concern for each other.

Some translations use care in the place of concern. In looking up the meaning of care, concern is used in the definition. I am not remotely a biblical scholar so I can not judge which word is more appropriate. I prefer concern in that the definition uses involvement and relation in define the word. We must be relational to each other. Time and conversation are essential in developing relationships. I confess that I fall short in this category. I do not spend enough time in conversation with my wife or children and friends. I try to meet weekly with on friend for breakfast and conversation. We meet at Fred's on Currie St. Fred's is a Fort Worth treasure. It is country working class hip arty just wonderful. We talk about the issues that we are facing and what we are studying at church. I call the Godfather's of my boys often and share my struggles and praises. One lives in California and the other lives here. When I get home to the one with whom I should share most I am already worn out and after getting everyone ready for bed I just want to sleep. I have not conversed with my wife in a while. I know that there is no condemnation for those in Christ but we still have to pay for our sins and we have sinned in how we have set up our life and spent money. We continue to pray and the Lord has blessed us in so many ways. But enough about me the goal of this post is to focus on the "each other" part. I try to remember others in my prayers when I do pray wich is hardly ever lately. My wife and I have been blessed greatly by our Crown financial study and we are going to attend a leaders training session so we can lead others through this study. In an earlier post I mentioned my mission statement and how I backed it up biblically. I am now revisiting these verses to see what it means for me and if I am really living up to what I want. So on the surface I have concern for others shown by teaching sunday school and meeting with my small group and bible studies but right now it is a little to shallow. My prayer is that I will live the word of the Lord and have a truly deeper concern for others.

Grace and Peace, Mark

Knowing

2005-04-26T14:39:00.000-07:00

I do not know where I got the quote but I use it often enough.

knowing is not enough.

Here is my addition or counter to the above

Not knowing is too much

At least for me it is right now. Not knowing what I need to be be doing to provide or will be doing to provide for my family. I do know that the next few week will be full of trepidition for me as I pray for guidance.

Be still and know that I am God

That is all I can do for now.

Grace and Peace, Mark

Failures

2005-04-25T14:36:00.000-07:00

I have had so few smart decisions lately and my failures are mounting to a degree that is near suffocating. My thoughts are doubtful and I feel precarious.

I have been intimate with the father of lies
and to my surprise he was with out disguise
he told me what I wanted to hear
but it was not what I needed

His ways were pleasing to my eyes
Yet I knew them to be otherwise
foolishy I did not fear
Faithlessly I heeded

To the great deciever now say
I've opened my eyes and seen your way
I know it to be untrue
I have seen the light

My sins I confess and humbly I pray
I repent and from this day
I will continue
on the path thats right

I am a professional prodigal

Grace and Peace, Mark

not news

2005-04-22T14:31:00.000-07:00

U2's new album is great

Beginning ideas on "adamsian education"

2005-04-15T14:42:00.000-07:00

Showing the gap in my education I had often referred to Jefferson as the author of the quote " I must study politics and war that my sons may have the liberty to study mathematics and philosophy. My sons ought study mathematics and philosophy, geography, natural history and naval architecture, navigation, commerce and agriculture in order to give their children a right to study painting, poetry, music, architecture, statuary, tapestry and porcelain." I had given thought to being a teacher and I am currently an instructor of taekwondo and do teach Sunday school and am responsible for my own children's education as well. I agree with Adams on his above quote as well as with his idea that "children should be educated and instructed in the principles of freedom." I imagine we would be better off if they were taught that instead of selfesteem and how to put condoms on zuccinnis.

so here begins some disorganized musings on some sort of curriculum. And let it be understood that study of the Lord and bible are primary and all other thoughts will tie into glorifying the Lord.

Chess. strategy, planning, sacrifice (politics and war)
I feel that reading ecclessiastes will take care of the pilosophical part.
as far as math I think children should be involved in the family budgeting process
Origami can help with manual dexterity geometry as well as being artistic.
Children should be given hands on opportunitys to work in a variety of artistic mediums.
More thoughts on politics and war I believe in teaching the martial arts for self defense and confidence but also to know what it means to inflict violence. Aikido, though I am not a practiitioner I know a little about it and hope to get some time to train in it, gets to the heart of the matter in the least violent way. It is the best way to love a beligerant neighbor.

Grace and Peace, Mark

teaching the next generation

2005-04-12T14:18:00.000-07:00

My great grand parents on my fathers side came here from Russia to escape from Stalins reign of terror. My grand father was a police officer. That is all I know about him. My dads dad was a left handed golfer and worked very hard all his life and told great stories of the depperession and his youth. My dad never missed a day of school. On my mothers side it is even less clear. Her father was involved in card parlors and one of her brothers was the kind of guy who took care of things for you in a not so friendly manner. At least this is the gist of what I remember. So barely 3 generations on and the facts are cloudy and vague within our family history. What kind of legacy is that for my children. In this egalitarian relativistic age I suppose it is good for people not to have a sense of family but I feel that it is wrong. My grandmother passed a couple of weeks ago and my daughter got to see her a few years ago. I remember one time I called her fat. I still feel bad about it. I work so much right now that I barely saee my children and this makes me sad. I want to teach them what the Lord has done for me and our family. I want them to know that they are part of history in an individual way. I am going to encourage them to learn about their faith family and country as well as their future. It did not take the Isrealites many generations to forget what God had done for them and soon they did what was right in their own eyes. Now our own country has forgotten what it went through growing up. Focusing more on its failures than its successes our schools are failing our children. My next post will be about my plan to suppliment my childrens education in an Adamsian way. First they will know what God has done for us and them and that they should share this good news.

Grace and peace, Mark

peek-a-boo

2005-04-11T14:36:00.000-07:00

After loading my sweet children into the van, wich unfortuneately needs 1700$ worth of work right now, I took a couple of moments to play peek - a - boo with the sliding door bringing smiles and giggles and such joy. Everyone was happy for a while. It is those little opportunities for simple joy that can so easily be lost in the rush to get where we need to go. It really isn't so hard to stop and smell the roses and definitely worth it when you do.

Grace and peace, Mark

Work

2005-04-06T14:20:00.000-07:00

My dad has often said work is a four letter work. I have gotten a biblical perspecitve lately and it has helped me to refocus and realize some mistakes and what led me to them.

the biblical work week is six days and there is no mention of PTO but the ground is cursed and there will be thorns an thistles.

This is the weedy season of my life.

Grace and Peace, Mark

Happy anniversary

2005-03-24T14:23:00.000-07:00

It is the 4th anniversary of the day I became one with with my wife.

"It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make an help meet fo him"
"This is bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh"
"...and they shall be one flesh"

Praise the Lord and Give thanks.

Grace and Peace, Mark

dreams

2005-03-22T14:59:00.000-07:00

Dreams were once an important way for God to communicate to his people. I have not seen much discussion of dreams in the church today. I rarely sleep well enough to get to that point of sleep. Sometimes I have recuring themes in my dreams and have made some connections to my situation at the time of the dream but I have not to my knowledge had any prophetic dreams. It is probably a good thing because I would most likely be to lazy to do anything about it. I did dream I was a vampire the other night.

Grace and Peace, Mark

Accountability update

2005-03-22T10:52:00.000-07:00

Pretty much I am the only person I have to keep myslef in check. I am greatful to the Lord for my wife who keeps me on my toes but I do not communicate enough with her and she has enough to worry about with the children and our home. She is an encourager though. I occassionly meet with my friend Ron and we tlak about things and then there is my small group.

So where do I stand and what is my grade?
I give myself a b-
I have been mostly regular on my daily proverb reading and getting a psalm or two in. About everyother day I get a couple schapters of the bible and I go through spurts of big reading. But mostly I lack consistancy and at times the right heart for the matter. I hope to develope a deeper understanding with the Lord but I let this world and its problems keep me apart.

I am not doing to well leading my family and definitely not providing enough and that is the main thrust of my problem.

My wife and I are working through the Crown financial bible study and are so convicted and blessed by it.

Grace and Peace, Mark

Love never Fails

2005-03-14T14:35:00.000-07:00

we just fail to love.

Grace and Peace, Mark

What the definition of "is" is

2005-03-11T14:42:00.000-07:00

For where two or three are gathered together in My name I am there among them Mt 18:20

And he took bread, gave thanks, broke it, gave it to them, and said, " This is my body which is given for you, do this in rememberence of me" Lu 22:19

I believe He is present at the table. Maybe not like the Roman Catholics or the Lutherans believe. My theology hasn't gotten that far, but I have faith that it is more than "symbolic".

Grace and Peace, Mark

Childhood

2005-03-10T15:51:00.000-07:00

I had just finished typing what was my best posting ever and when I went to publish something happened with my connection and it was lost. Just like my childhood. I have lost connection with it at times. Partially because I have moved awy from some of where I grew up and partially because my adault life is very challenging at the moment. The gist of my posting was that I am sad that my children wont have the same childhood experiences that I had. They will be much more sheltered and supervised. Part of that has to do with where we live as opposed to where I grew up. Also I have not done much to facilitate fun for my children and I hope to change that though I can not imagine how I will when I am going to have to work 100 hours aday for the rest of my life to get out of debt.

Grace and Peace, Mark

Bird song

2005-03-08T13:04:00.000-07:00

Bird song invites spring
full of majestic color
and a gentle breeze

Grace and Peace, Mark

Spring fashions

2005-03-04T10:19:00.000-07:00

I do not remember reading in Ecclessiasties " a time for linen a time for leather, a time for pastels a time for plads" but it does say" vanity of vanities all is vanity"

Grace and Peace, Mark

Simple Man

2005-03-02T14:58:00.000-07:00

I am as mentioned in another post reading John Adams by David McCullogh and quite enjoying it. I have always enjoyed biographies which makes me part of the camp that believes it is great men that move history. I the way I view history is like the ocean there are currents and waves and storms and boats can follow these currents but it takes a strong captiam to keep the sailors in line when the waves get rough and the weather forebodes. I know also that a captian needs a crew and can not sail around the world with out one but I also know that most crew members would rather be at some tavern wenching and drinking as I also know that there are many who like adventure and make better followers than leaders. I have tried being the leader and I am learning that I am not cut out for it and I am a beter follower. Just a simple man that wants to serve the Lord and spend some time with his family.

Grace and Peace, Mark

john

2005-03-02T14:49:00.000-07:00

Just finished reading the gospel of John. It is really beautiful and makes me think we focus to much on religiosoity and not enough on love. I am moved by his works and his desire for us to know who he is. How great is it for us that have not seen and do believe. Though I often let the world get in the way I need to remember that I am no longer of this world. What I also like about John is the way Jesus points out the way that everything he does points to who he is. Good stuff.

Grace and Peace, Mark

Up to date

2005-02-28T12:06:00.000-07:00

As for leading my family in worship, I have managed to do it a mere 3 times. Not much of a leader. I am overwhelmed by Gods grace though. Things that I have worried about have turned out not to be so bad. Bible reading has not been daily but it has been at least weekly. I have also started reading "john adams" by david mccullough. Our leaders have been coasting on the greatness of those that started this nation.

Saw Broose play the other night. I think he is better suited to playing solo and accoustic. His voice is much stronger not haveing to compete with a band.

Grace and Peace, Mark

I suck

2005-02-17T13:59:00.000-07:00

Big time

Must be careful

2005-01-25T13:28:00.000-07:00

In my effort to read the entire word of God I must be careful not to rush through checking of boxes as I go but give the word an opprotunity to work on my heart. I have been reading mostly the shorter books saying to myself "ah I have just read 4 books of the bible." And in so doing I am letting pride come to me. So now I admit my sin and am still making an effort to read the bible completely and methodically but with an emphasis on being prayerful and receptive to its truth.

My wife and I are going to start in a crown ministries small group study and I am looking forward to getting my view of wealth right with God. God owns EVERYTHING. I have had a difficult time realizing that everything means everything. I have been an unfaithful steward.

Grace and Peace Mark

Reading the Bible

2005-01-22T10:52:00.000-07:00

I have read the entire Lord of the Rings tirillogy 6 times the Simarillion twice and Atlas Shrugged 3 times one of those being in a 24 hour sitting. Numerous books on eastern ideals. a 1400 page history of judaism.

The Bible nope. I have yet to read the whole bible. I have embarked on a one year bible reading plan from Discipleship Journal which I linked to from desiring God ministry.

Then I though about it. If I can read atlas shrugged nonstop surely I can read the Bible in less than a Year. So that is my goal.

Grace and Peace, Mark

mission statement

2005-01-20T14:19:00.000-07:00

I went to the franklin covey website and did a mission statement builder exercise early last year and found it to be useful. Today as I was looking over it I wanted to make sure it was biblicaly inline with what the Lord would have me do. For the most part I was able to back it up scripturaly. here are the verses:
1 cor 12:25
luke 4:8
eph 5:28
1 tim 5:8
heb 3:13
heb 10:38
mt 5:9
1 pet 4:10
ps 133:1
phil 4:8
jhn 14:21
ps 105:5
ps 107:8
luke 12:48

Not that I get even close to living like this but It is what I strive for.

Grace and Peace, Mark

Psalms

2005-01-19T14:41:00.000-07:00

So far this year I have read a proverb a day and the goal is to continue through out the year. Godly wisdom is what I hope to achieve through this exercise. My other readings and general studies of late have been very convicting of my sinful nature as well as the current state of my affairs. Not down playing my blessings but I find that I am missing out on some of the joy I should be feeling being in Christ. So to see joy in action I am going to start reading a pslam daily in addition to my other readings however sporadic they may be. I am praying that I will read more of the word instead of what others say about it.

Grace and Peace, Mark

Rock and roll is..

2005-01-13T10:59:00.000-07:00

...such a collosal waste of time. Well at least it seems so to me. Last night I went ot see my brothers band play and was reminded of how I just don't get it. Even when I was a rock star I did not get it. That doesn't mean I did not enjoy it but I just did not get it. I do know it is for the young because I am way to old to maintain that kind of lifestyle. Just too much improperly used time. My brother has a long road ahead. His band just does not seem to have the magic that pop poppins had and I do not think it will. It's not that they suck no they are all very capable musicians in their own right but they havent gelled yet. Hopefully it will come in time they are still relatively fresh with only 4 gigs under their belts. We shall see. Well not me if they keep playing that late.

Grace and Peace, Mark

Pendulum Man

2005-01-12T13:26:00.000-07:00

I think I wrote a poem with above title in high school about myself once. I did so on realizing that my two favorite essayists at the time were Gore Vidal and William Buckley. The same goes for my blog interests currently. I read reformed and emergent theologically baised bloggers concurrently. I have read "a generous orthodoxy:(large subtitle)" and found it all over the place kind of like myself except I did not keep all my wanderings within Chrisianity. ( See the parabola link.)

Family devotional time is not going as well as I hoped. Due intoto to my lack of leadership. I will continue on in pray and work at getting it going stronger. I think I initially bit of more that I couuld chew in trying to develope a devotional on my own so I am going to other resources instead.

I am reading a proverb a day and would like to continue to do so for the whole year.

Grace and Peace, Mark

By Faith and not by Sight

2005-01-10T10:02:00.000-07:00

Now is one of those time in my life where a theme is developing and being reinforced by several avenues at once. I am wanting to work on leading my house in serving the Lord and my church service this Sunday was extremely relevant to my situation and the mens bible study is doing a series on biblical leadership.

I was like Abram in that I decided to get mey family in line biblicaly and when famine hit I went to Egypt(car sales) then repented. I am now in what I think is a promised land as do others and now must walk by faith that this is where I need to be(teaching martial arts). Though it will take much time and effort I am with my family in the mornings and most of the week ends. I dont have the nights to spend with them and I have some concerns about this but maybe it is not as bad as I think.

Grace and Peace, Mark

Counsel of wise men

2005-01-06T10:01:00.000-07:00

I don't know many men of my age (mid 30's) that spend time with men that have been seasoned longer than they themselves have and I feel it is a big loss on their part. I have a few men that have done and seen more than I have and it is always a joy and a blessing to get their perspectives on issues. My father being one that I unfortunately don not seek often enough mostly because I would he rather not know of my mistakes of idiotic plans. But my father has always been there for support and encouragement.

In reference to my earlier posts on leading my family in worship the first one didn't go over to well but this mornings was a blessing. My 2yr old son was quick to point out that mama did not have her hands folded for prayer with his shouts of "mama mama pair" its hard for him to get that first r in prayer out but he's getting there and he enjoys singing Jesus loves me.

Grace and Peace, Mark

Leading my family in worship

2004-12-22T13:45:00.000-07:00

I have come up with some prayers for when I lead my family in worship. I have loosely based my prayers on a liturgical model sort of creed like.

opening: We welcome you Lord for we gather in your name

morning: As there was evening and there was morning on that first day Lord your will was done. Lord your grace and mercy are renewed towards us each day. Let us this morning seek you and offer up praise that while we were yet sinners you have loved us so much so that your word became flesh among us and brought grace into our lives. Lord we seek to bind the word to our hearts and fulfill the commandments of loving You and loving our neighbors. For this day we will walk in your ways with faith in the promise that your grace is sufficient.

evening: As there was evening and there was morning on the first day Lord your will was done. We rejoice in the day that you have made and with all creation we praise and thank you for it. Though we have sinned and come short of Your glory we are not condemned for Christ is within us. We offer up the burdens of this day that we may rest and be still knowing that your are God and sleep in Your Peace that surpasses all understanding.

closing: We thank You Lord for your word, your promises and your most precious Son. Amen

the order of worship will be:

opening
morning/evening prayer
verse memorization
proverb/prophet
gospel
discussion
praise song
verse memorization
closing

Grace and Peace, Mark

Seeking first the Lord

2004-12-22T13:08:00.000-07:00

I have been browsing many websites lately and have by them been encouraged and convicted in the way I have been living. Priorities are becoming clearer and as well as actions needed. I like the Idea of credenda/agenda "things to be believed/things to be done" and what needs to be done is to seek first the kingdom and righteosness(mt 6:33). In order to do that me and my house must serve the Lord(jos 24:15). I must accept the headship of my family and begin to instruct them in study, prayer and praise. I have been unable to prvide for my family the necessary finances and this has been heavy on my heart but what has come to light as more grievous sin is that I have not provided headship. Knowing that His grace is sufficient to keep me and encourage me through every endeavor I will lead morning worship daily through the week. I look forward to the blessings of his word.

Grace and Peace, Mark

At the Bass Hall

2004-12-02T11:29:00.000-07:00

I am a cowtown Kool ade drinker. I have already mentioned in previous posts our great museums. Now I am to trumpet the praises of the Bass Hall. It is elegent and grand and beautiful. I always enjoy going there and unfortunately do not get to go there enough. Last night my wife and I had a date there with Yo-Yo Ma and Emanuel Ax. It was an all Beethoven recital and at first I was a little disappointed. I say this because I love the cello and everyone knows LvB loved the piano. Fort Worth is a piano town as Mr. Ma stated so the piano lovers in cowtown were not disappointed, and in the end nor was I. My initial disappointment was quickly turned to joy when I put my instrumental favoritism aside and just let LvB's musical brilliance brighten my spirits. The music for piano and cello by Lvb is great music and taken as such truly moves the soul. As a duo Messrs Ax and Ma are near symbiotic and immensly enjoyable to wach. The ease at which they play their instruments belies the level of effort to attain such mastery. I am always awed by how apart of his being the cello seems to be when Mr. Ma is playing. Granted I have only seen him four times and Mr. Ax I have had the pleasure of seeing three times. The two of them seem like kids in a candy store when they play togehter and it is just so beautiful to see. I have heard each of the pieces many times before but their obvious enthusiasm for the music made them fresh for me. All that can be said is that great music was played by great musicians in a great hall amoung great company (my wife) meant for a great time.

Grace and Peace, Mark

Web of life

2004-11-26T14:24:00.000-07:00

"The universal brotherhood of man is our most precious possession." --Mark Twain

Precious is that which binds us together abut is it something we possess? I confess at times I try to go it alone. As far as universal brotherhood goes it would seem that we are in a time of unilateral brotherhood. Though as much air time and headline space war and strife receive, I believe kindness and generosity prevail. I only claim to know what I have learned from my own experience and many people have touched my life and supported and sustained me.

First is family, I have been blessed to have such a supporting father and mother. I had always been encouraged in what I wanted to do and my grand parents also instilled in me a work ethic that though not always visible has allowed me to reach some levels of success in my endeavors. Not only did I receive their working sensibility but also their sense of "the story". My fathers father was always telling stories and he had some great ones. Our family history was passed on in these stories and it was an interesting history as my grand fathers family fled from Russia under the threat of Stalinist pressures. I feel that the sense of familial story lines has been lost in America. The level of our successes as a nation and the sense of the individual as hero are parts of the demise of the family story. Each new generation wants to start over someplace new. It is hard to develop a sense of community when their is no sense of family. As my children grow I want them to be connected to my past ass well as their mothers and carry on worthy traditions and start new ones and encourage them to continue to do the some with out abandoning what has come before. In order for this to happen it is important to stay connected. Without the connections of family and friends our circumstances would be pretty dire. I am grateful for al the people that the Lord has put into my life and though I don't always live up to the level of gratitude that I feel I should I am still grateful. In a book by a rabbi I once read was a quote that has had much resonance with my soul. "Life is with people." So simple sounding yet a thoroughly profound statement. Without people I definitely would not have life. As I try to understand how the relationships I have with others are all strands in the web of life I work to remember those that have supported me and encouraged me and pass it on making it possible for the story line to continue on.

Grace and Peace, Mark

Saturday at the Kimbal

2004-11-22T13:06:00.000-07:00

This past Saturday I took my son, daughter and her friend to the Kimbal art Musuem. The Primary reason being to see the Miro String Quartet as it was a free concert and free is for me as I always say and it is the best way to introduce the children to music and if Daniel got fussy which he did we could leave early which we did andnot worry about money lost. We made it through the first movement of theBeethoven and my boy says" bye bye music pa pa bye bye " so it was time to go and the girls were happy because mom didn't tell them about the music just that we were going to the Kimbal to do some sketching and they had an exhibit of horses. George Stubb and the Horse the featured exhibition and the kids enjoyed it. It is small but encompassing in scope. The horse is such a magnificent creation and some of the paintings really captured the nobility and strength of the animal. There is no sketching of special exhibitions at the Kimbal so we went also to look at some of the permanent collection. I am truly greatful that the Kimbal is free so I can expose my children to great art. After some brief sketching it was time to frollic about outside for awhile. Our next outing will be to the Amon Carter museum another great free location.

Grace and Peace, Mark

friendship

2004-11-20T10:41:00.000-07:00

"The bird a nest, the spider a web, man friendship"

Friendship is man haven. It is to where he should always return from his endeavors. In my mens bible study we were asked to think of who we would want to be our six pall bearers at our funeral. I had a hard time coming up with three let alone six and I am feel that this is the case with most men. I thinnk ther are several factors for this situation. For me it is mostly a matter of time. My family takes up most of time outside of work and rightfully so . But to be of worth to my family I need to have friendships outside of it as well. Also technology has played a role in diminishing them or at least shallowing them. Telephones and email allow us to keep in touch but not "in feel" It's just a quick " hey whats up call you later" of forward some silly cartoon or sappy quote. Conversation has ended. Conversation once meant an intimate association, now it has become talking points and pleasantries or one sided rants. When one has an oportunity to see true friends truly conversing it is magical. I want that magic for me and more so I want it for my family. I need to develope friendships so my children and wife can also see their value for themselves and have a haven to head to in time of storm or just for comfort. It definitely takes effort and patience to cultivate friendships but it is so worth it. When I talk of friendships outside the family It should be understood that familial friendships are to be foremost. As I said to one friend I want the 6 pall bearers to be people that care to carry the burden of my body than be happy to see me go. Life has gotten too fast, take time to slow down and converse. It will be a blessing to you and your friend.

Grace and Peace, Mark

3 Haiku

2004-11-19T15:33:00.000-07:00

I have not written any haiku for several years and I am wanting to get my creative juices going again. I went the the Parabola website and looked up the theme of thier next issue and put it to use. Not doing is the theme and in my previos post I tackled it in prose form now I will take a stab at it in Haiku form.

I am sitting still
unintentional action
feeling the suns warmth

As it turns out I have discarded my paper that I had written my three Haiku on and could only remember th first one.

I plan on going through the back issue themes of Parabola and writing about them from my perspective. I hope to do this weekly.

Tomorrow I am going to the Kimbal to see a free string quartet. If its free its for me. Also I am taking my children with me and this is a great way to introduce them to the arts.

Grace and Peace, Mark

I fancied myself to be a writer once.

2004-11-17T15:01:00.000-07:00

"... and by what I have left undone..."

As of late my contemplations have been heavily focused on sin and particularly my sin. The most weighty are the sins of inaction on my part. Not that I hve been lazy but more like busy doing nothing. Nothing has been a buzz word of my generation. "Nothing much" was the reply to what was up. "Nothing special" to what you were doing. "Nada (meaning nothing)" was the reply to whats new. Unfortunately nothing much is what I have to show for the tremendous amount of blessings I have recieved. To whom much is given much is expected and I am not meeting expectations. To say that I have let people down and been a burden is an understatement. I can see how my sin is like a drop of food coloring in a clear glass of water slowly seeping and coloring the whole glass. Everyone has free will this is true but sin begets sin, and I have been spreading it to others because of what I have left undone. And this is what is most grieveous to me.

Imbedded in the command to" be still and know that I am" is a call to action. Knowing is a verb. Rest and regeneration are essention parts of growth. In their purpose, however lies the seed of action. I am very fond ofrest and relaxation though not opposed hard work either. But the inaction that affects me most is not restfull at all and verges on paralysis. Inaction born of fear. Fear of what? SHAME! Yes I know it is out of fashion but I am ashamed of many uf my undeeds as well as misdeeds. I hope this shame will spur me on to action but more often I feel like I am in quicksand and if I try to do something it only makes me sink faster. So I prefer to sit still and sink slowly and hope that some divine rope is thrown my way. I think a more apt description is that of a mountain climber that has sat down for a rest and removed his back pack for a moment and then upon sholdering it again it feels even weightier and now he can not get back up. So my prayer is to have faith in the promise that His grace is sufficient for me (2cor12:9)

Rise of the dollar store

2004-11-12T14:46:00.000-07:00

Does it signify the end of civilization? I do not believe so, but there is some concern to be had I think about the rise of dollar stores and their ilk. I frequent them myself but not with out some trepidition as to the underlying signifigance of their existance. Is it a sign of a poor economy or is it emblamatic of our consumer culture that our gluttonous need has gotten so out of hand that producers are on overdrive and surpluses abound? I can get a weeks worth of meals for 8 to 10 dollars. This is great for me because our family is on a tight budget due to the fact that I can not provide enough money to take care of us but that is another story. Back to the food at the dollar store. It is not the healthiest fare nor the most palatable but I con supplement other ways to make up for that and we do not only shop at the dollar store for our food. I just do not think in the long run that sustaining the consuption levels that we are at will be good for us in the long run. Most of the stuff at these stores is crap anyway. Lots and lots of junk. I find that my own house has to much junk and I could probalbly have a garage a week for three months and still not be rid of the junk we have accumulated. I am beginning to believe that it is sinnful to have as much junk as we do because it gets in the way of living more often than not. I know that our standard of living is pumped up by the consumption culture but I feel that some how there has to be a better way of living.

Grace and Peace, Mark

picking nits

2004-11-01T14:16:00.000-07:00

I feel confident that we have all heard the phrase "not meaning to be nit picky but..."
We as the saying goes the devil is in the details and I think we should all spend some more time picking nits. As a society we have become to lax on too many fronts and a little scrutiny and criticism would not be a bad thing. I currently am unable to completely fulfill my biblical duty as the financial provider for my family and therefore my wife watches children to make some extra money. We watch the child of an ex girlfriend of mine who is going through a nasty divorce and is under a lot of strain. This child unfortuneately has lice. We have a four week old baby boy as well as a 2yr old boy and a10yr old girl. Needless to say we dont need lice in our home, not that anybody needs it but it makes our situation even more hectic. My wife has spent this whole morning washing this poor 2yr old girls hair and then picking nits. The girls mother can't be bothered with such details right now becaus of divorce, new job, lawsuit, and sundry other issues. Picking nits has gotten out of fashion it seems and it is the children who suffer and those who care for them. Had I been nit picked in some areas in my life I don't think my family would be in this situation but here we are and we have to tough it out. So I recomend we pick some nits and floss our teeth and wash behind the ears.

Grace and Peace, Mark

2004-10-12T13:55:00.000-07:00

I would like to know more, so I read. What am I reading now? The Holy Bible via an e-mail read the Bible in a year deal and through church sermons and other study. Also reading Godel, Escher, Bach:an eternal golden braid by Hofstadter. It is some pretty heavy stuff. I highly recommend Joys and sorrows the life of Pablo Casals. Mostly I read stuff on the internet.

Grace and Peace, Mark

Bye bye

2004-09-27T14:15:00.000-07:00

Few things are as sweet as the sound of a two year old saying bye bye. It has a certain innocence and is something that can be repeated every two steps. My son first learned to say bye bye at the day care not to me or his mom or teachers for that matter but to the air planes over head. His day care was right under the flight path of Carswell NAS/JRB and since that fateful september day the planes have been very frequent. Our humble abode is also under the flight path of most of the training jets. You learn to pause conversations while the planes are over head and pick up wher you left off easily. The planes no longer disturb my naps I've gotten so used to them. Unlike Thomas Merton who also lived under the path of the American war birds I find the sound to be reassuring. I often offer up a prayer of thanks for the sacrifices that many men and women have made for us and for comfort for the families of thes tha serve. When ever my son sees or hears a plane he says bye bye and the sweetness of that and what it means to me helps me to understand that the price of what blessings we have in America is high. And even greater is the price of our salvation.

Grace and Peace, Mark

my birthday

2004-09-12T13:28:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was my birthday. I tore my calf muscle which is very painful. We ate some German food at Eidelweiss in the great city of Fort Worth.

Grace and Peace, Mark

Hello everyone

2004-09-10T08:50:00.000-07:00

Well time for me to join the foray. How exciting to be apart of the information age finally. I am pretty much a traditionalist, not quite a luddite, but not on the cutting edge of technology to be sure. This probably won't be a very active site. At best I hope to post about twice a week. I am interested in the arts, politics, religion, well pretty much every thing. I live to serve the Lord as revealed in the bible and do so as a sinner forgiven by the blood of Christ resurected.

Grace and Peace, Mark